I’m doing a-okay!
What have you done so far, what are your plans after the interview?
It’s been a pretty busy day, between my full-time work and my PR clients. I just checked the time and realized I’ve been working without leaving my seat for almost three hours now. After this interview, I plan on eating a cookie. I deserve it.
Where are you from originally, do you still live there?
I’m originally from Hawaii, but now live in Southern California.
What are you most passionate about?
Hmm...good question...I’m passionate about a lot of things: a well-curated playlist of music, my cats (because they are super awesome), writing, reading, and addressing the stigma that exists for people in the industry when they have to interact in “the real world.” Admittedly, I’m further removed than performers as I’m not a public figure in the same way, but I do have to deal with the stigma nonetheless, especially as I do more educational work in the non-adult arena.
Do you have animals?
I do - four little monsters. Three cats - who I sometimes refer to on social media as my boss (Chompers), assistant (Buster), and intern (Luna). I also have a very ancient, but very adorable dog who thinks he’s a cat.
Now for the juicy parts…
How did you get into the industry and how old were you?
I was in my early twenties and it was kind of on accident. I was working for a local newspaper taking photos and had dreams of writing some kind of angsty novel after college. Well, I had about 11 chapters and then was paralyzed with writer’s block so I was working just for the sake of paying the bills. I had a few different jobs when I first moved back home (to Hawaii) after college.
In addition to taking photos for the newspaper, a friend of mine and I started a nightlife blog where we took event photos at LGBTQ events because we found that none of our community events received coverage in the same way that the straight nightlife events did. It was just for fun and I ended up having a casual business meeting with an associate and her partner at the time. The partner asked if I was looking for a job and if I could do photoshop. I said, “Yeah, sure.”
She told me it was a porn company.
I told her, “Okay, great.”
She clarified it was a trans porn company.
And I said, “Okay, great.”
So I applied and was originally hired as a photo retoucher. This lasted exactly one day. I spent my first day removing little pieces of toilet paper from a performer’s butthole - exciting, I know. The next day while Steven Grooby was training me, he figured out that my background was in writing. He took me off retouching almost immediately (thank goodness) and I started blogging for us and doing webmaster tasks for some of our smaller sites. It was a great way to learn the ins-and-outs of our company and from there I worked my way up to where I am today - I got a certificate in marketing and I tried to absorb as much knowledge and experience as I could.
I think I’m at about my 10-year mark now.
Have you had any setbacks some down the road? Do you have any advice for us in how to avoid these issues, or what you’ve learned from these setbacks?
I’ve definitely encountered many setbacks in my career. Sometimes I hit roadblocks because I think people see me and assume I’m just some kid with no experience. Because of my identity (Gay, Asian-American, and really short and round, haha), I probably won’t be the one that can yell really loud about something and it’ll get fixed immediately. I’ve learned to be creative in how I get things done - I try not to let my marginality hinder me from what I need to do.
The biggest takeaway for me has been learning to exercise healthy boundaries with people. Before, I’d bend over backward for people and sometimes to my own detriment and in some ways, theirs. Now, I try to pause and self-examine whether or not it’s okay for me to do what someone is asking me to do. And if it’s not, I try to kindly decline and point them in a direction that might provide better results for them. This is a dilemma that eats me up inside - I so badly want to help anyone who asks me to do something for them (and in my career, people have asked me things that are pretty off-the-wall), but I’ve learned from trial-and-error how poor boundary setting, in the end, can hurt all parties involved even when everyone has the best intentions at heart.
This is not a practice that is specific to my line of work, it’s something we all need practice doing in our own lives. Likewise, I think it’s important to learn how to accept your mistakes and say them out loud. I’m human and sometimes I fuck up - when I do, it’s important to me that I say so and sincerely apologize to the other person.
We’re in a business of bodies and sex - I think it’s easy for emotional stuff to get tangled up in it. My advice to others is to be as clear as possible in all of your interactions because there will be times when the other person isn’t (hell, there will be times where you’re not as clear as you need to be either). Be clear about your boundaries, be clear about your expectations. Be kind while setting healthy boundaries with others and above all, be professional. There will be times where people misunderstand what you’re saying, so try to continually be kind and consistent in your message.
Tell us about your role in the industry and your goals within it.
I’m the Marketing and Editorial Director at a trans porn company called Grooby, but I’ve been fortunate enough to do a little bit of everything during my time there. I’m the new Editor at Transformation Magazine, sit on the board of directors for a sex work affirming non-profit called TAIF, and speak at conferences to help destigmatize our industry and sex.
In terms of goals, my main one is to destigmatize sex work outside of our industry. LGBTQ community is already marginalized, but that plus being a sex worker, puts people at a higher risk than other groups. I know there are places where I have privilege and I want to use it responsibly to help elevate our community where and when I can.
We see you started “Ikigai Marketing”, tell us a little bit about it.
In recent years, I’ve been approached by performers (and in particular, trans performers) wanting me to be their publicist. I’ve always been more than happy to offer advice to anyone who has asked and didn’t necessarily think there was a need for me to branch out and do marketing + PR outside of my responsibilities with Grooby.
At AVN this past year, Aubrey Kate (who is one of my clients) and Foxxy sat me down and encouraged me to reconsider the idea of starting my own marketing + PR company. I thought about it for a while and also consulted with Steven Grooby on it to make sure it was okay to do. The great thing about this endeavor is that it’s not my sole source of income. For this reason, I’m able to be picky about who I work with and able to turn away work I don’t feel is a good fit for myself or a potential client.
Ultimately, I wanted my business to reflect my personality and professional ethics. Ikigai, in Japanese, means “reason for being.” My belief is that when a person’s personal and professional ikigai are aligned, that is when success is the most sustainable.
I don’t promote a singular blueprint for success - instead, I have potential clients fill out a lengthy questionnaire and together we figure out if we’d be a good fit for each other. If I don’t think I’d be a good fit, I say so and I make recommendations. I try to emphasize to my clients that my goal is to be a compass in helping guide their own careers. It’s important to me that my clients feel that have agency in their decisions, whether for short term or longer plans.
At the moment, I have a pretty diverse roster of clients - Aubrey Kate, Siouxsie Q, Emerald Triangle Girls (shhh the formal announcement is coming soon), and an industry powerhouse I can’t name yet, but I’m really excited to be working with.
You run groobydotcom and TGEroticaAwards, what exactly do you do with these companies?
I am Marketing and Editorial Director at Grooby. We’re the leading producer of trans erotica and just celebrated 20 years in the business. As I mentioned, I’ve worn many hats with the company throughout the years, but I think this position is the one that best suits me. It’s marketing and PR, it’s brand building and networking, and it’s philanthropic work (Steven Grooby, Buck Angel, and myself started a non-profit foundation called TAIF, Trans Adult Industry Foundation).
The TEAs (also known as the Transgender Erotica Awards) is an annual award show that celebrates the accomplishments of the trans adult industry. It started as an online competition started by Grooby and is now a 3-day event held here in Hollywood, CA. We do a pre-party, daytime fan convention, and an awards ceremony. I’m the Event Coordinator - I get the sponsors, handle their marketing and the marketing of the event itself, organize the show, and the run the events each day. I don’t do it alone - I have help from some of my Grooby co-workers, but let me tell you, it’s quite an effort to put on the show. Prior to it, I work 16-hour days and then after everything is over, I sleep for a week to recover.
What is your guilty pleasure in your playlist right now? Something you like to dance around to like nobody’s looking.
I think everything in my playlist right now is probably someone’s guilty pleasure! I’m a big fan of George Michael - I’ll totally pretend I’m playing the saxophone while jamming out to “Careless Whisper.” Also, I love Whitney Houston. I’m super annoying in the car because I’ll blast her music as loud as possible and sing along - complete with hand motions.
Other than that, I have a soft spot for 90s alternative because it reminds me of being an angsty teenager in high school.
If you could change one thing about the industry…what would it be?
I’d love to see more community building. I remember there was an interview Aubrey Kate gave and she mentioned how segregated it was between the straight/gay/trans parts of the industry. I’ve definitely seen that firsthand from working in trans porn and I’d love to see less cattiness between everyone overall. Whether it’s performer-to-performer, performer-to-studio, studio-to-studio, etc.
I consider the TEAs, for example, to be like the goth table (something that Siouxsie Q affectionately told me after the show). That was one of the highest compliments I could receive - I want the event to be as inclusive as possible and for that to exist outside of the show. I make a great deal of effort to make sure EVERYONE feels welcomed there because god knows I’ve been the angsty teenager in high school who didn’t fit in with the popular kids and just hung out on my own.
If you would like to add anything or promote anything…now is your time to go wild!
I co-created this cool site called ShameKillsLove.com where we encourage people to live unapologetically unashamed. It’s still in its infancy - but we’ve been sending out love letters to strangers (you can request one on the site), list our destigmatizing porn workshops there, and sell some cool gear.
For those interested in PR work or even just a consultation, be sure to say hello to me at IkigaiMarketing.com.
Twitter: Kristel_Penn
Instagram: Kristel.Penn
Website: IkigaiMarketing.com
Thank you again for kicking this off! We hope you enjoyed chatting with us!
We hope you have a glorious day!
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